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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a woman who will say the words "sorry" to a woman if I sense she is a good person. I try not to say them to men or to women who seem like they'll hold it against me.[/quote]

I think this is why women tend to say "sorry" more and use phrases like "I just wanted to..." or "Maybe if we..." It's not that we're necessarily insecure, but we can often read other people better. I've written out emails before and then edited them to be more direct and bold. This is usually when I'm asserting myself in a manager role. I've also softened emails to sound friendlier and more casual. These usually go to administrative assistants or IT people or support staff. Sometimes I am very formal like if I am speaking to supervisors, and sometimes I am generally amicable like when I talk to colleagues. The bottom line is that it depends on the situation and then I adapt.

OP, you've identified that this coworker seemed miffed that she was thrown under a bus and was saved by her own skills and experience. You know you owe her an apology, yet for some weird reason you don't want to. If you can't adapt to this situation, then deal with the repercussions.[/quote]

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