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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah it's a tough one. Can you let go of the[b] SAHM dream[/b]? Cause it is ulikely to happen with this guy. Can he stand up to his family? If not you will definitely resent him for it. What is his degree in? Does his earning potential justify his loans? I am all for love, but reality of life wears everyone out. You just really need to not be naive about your prospects.
- signed, someone who loves DH but resents ILs to the point of struggling to stay civil.[/quote]

[b]
Who said her dream is to SAH?[/b][i]

I would have a long discussion with him about what his expectations are for giving to his family in the long term.  Does he have any sort of "deal" with them?  Pay them x amount and that's it?  Is there a cap on how much he gives monthly?  I'd have to be very certain that he understands this is a big issue for me and we'd have to have a plan on how to wean that support, or keep it to a manageable level.  Perhaps some couples therapy on this topic would be money well spent.

OP, you mentioned that you're both saving for a wedding.  Please think twice about spending a substantial amount of money on a wedding and put that towards a house or something that will last for more than a few hours.  It sounds pragmatic and not very romantic but looking back I think you will be much more proud of yourself.

[/quote]

OP wrote,

[i]"In the back of my mind I always thought my dh would eventually support us."[/i]

OP, does your boyfriend know that this is what you want?  Does he agree with the idea of supporting you and future children?  If he does, how does he plan to put plans into place to make that happen?[/quote]

This. Tell him and see how he reacts. He can't read your mind and has reason to be surprised. Incidentally you really need some savings. 75k is a pretty good salary. Where does all the money go?!

Anecdotally, at 25, I had 70k of law school loans, and I was giving 10k a year to my parents (dad lost job and his PT one gave him decreased income). I thought I'd have to support them forever but his finances improved and in 5-6 years they no longer needed my help. They have since given me 35k+ in gifts. So you never know. But back then, my salary was $110k so giving 10k a year was doable.

What is his degree in and what is the earning potential in his field? [/quote]

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