Reply to New baby and in-laws (venting)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They are coming over to bond with their grandchild.  And they are also "helping" you by holding your child for an hour or two while you shower/nap/surf DCUM/whatever.  You admit that you're being selfish.  You admit that you are treating your in-laws differently from your own parents.  You refer to some joking comment your MIL made as some sort of proof that MIL is trying to steal your baby.  Face it, you are hormonal and selfish.  I can't believe your husband hasn't stepped in to insist that you stop this nonsense.

But whatever, go ahead and alienate the relatives that live 10 minutes away.  Teach them that they're not welcome and that you don't want them to have a relationship with your child (that's what you're doing).  Just don't come back here in 1-2 years griping about how you have no close family to help out/babysit nearby.  I feel bad for your relatives.[/quote]

My SIL was like you. She had her first when she was very young. Her second, my brother's first was the first grandchild for my parents. Of course they wanted to see the grand baby as much as they could - they were so excited until SIL pushed them away. Word got back that SIL was telling everyone that grandparents were going to steal her baby. Grandparents backed off. Once the baby was older and SIL needed a break or a sitter, it dawned on her that her baby had not seen her grandparents in almost a year (they live 5 miles away). I guess she figured out that it was because of her because she would ask my brother to ask the grandparent to watch the baby. Grand parents said yes in the beginning until they realized they were being used so that SIL could go out on girl nights (her husband worked variable shifts so was not always available). It was very hard for them but they started saying no to these requests. This of course pissed off the SIL that the grandparents were not interested in their grand child. Their relationships have been ruined...all because the SIL failed to realize that a grandparent is a key person in a child's life. Granting them a few hours a week to watch the baby is NOTHING but pure selfishness. How would you feel if your daughter in law keeps you away from your grandchild?[/quote]

No, your parents threw a fit when your SIL asked for some space and refused to see the baby for a year.
It wasn't good enough when SIL tried to make peace with them and hope they came around so they dig their heels in further and estranged themselves instead of returning the peace. Even from your version of events that's obvious[/quote]

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