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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, the context really matters. Do they drop by unannounced? How many times per week do they visit?[/quote]

I would say on average 2 to 3 times a week. What normally happens is that one person will ask me if they can drop by our house for a few, but before I know it it's a party. They normally call each other up to see who else want to tag along. That part annoys because 1. I am not great with surprises 2. I get overwhelmed with a big number of unexpected visitors 3. Feeding picky/high maintenance in-laws is not easy.

I do stock some of their favorite snacks in my panty and leave it out on the kitchen counter or dining table. They just stare at it saying how snacks won't do it for them.

This is just me but i never expect anything other than a bottle of water when I visit them. If I am hungry I wil try to eat something before I get to someone's house not unless I have been invited for a meal.

I think I am just starting to get resentful of the whole thing. The other day BIL stopped by, I greeting him and he was like " I am starting." I work from home so I have a little flexibility but I don't want to be preparing a meal at 3 PM on a weekday.

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This is insane!  Though, there is something nice to having family feel comfortable enough to stop by whenever...but why is your BIL stopping by in the middle of a workday?  And can't you tell him you're working?

The bigger issue, though, I think is just the overall rudeness of your ILs.  This is something that really only your DH can handle...and hopefully he can be upfront with his own brother!  He should just tell him that you all are getting tired of having to prepare meals for them whenever they come over, especially uninvited.  He can say that you still enjoy their company, but they either need to pitch in or eat before coming.  Also, that you can't cater to them whenever they come.  Because my sister lives close to my parents, of us siblings we all end spending the most time at her house (brother and I are out-of-state and we spend time with both parents and my sister when we visit).  At some point my sister flat out pointed out that it gets really expensive and to be a hassle when we're all in town for the holidays dropping by etc (and this is just a couple times of year).  So we're more conscientious about pitching in $ and help.  Is it possible that your ILs don't realize this is putting you out so they keep doing it?[/quote]

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