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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it's your husband's job -- NOT yours -- to deal with them.

He needs to talk with them and be polite but firm with a big smile: "I get that it's nice to see each other first thing in the morning and so on, but our place is truly full with two young kids now. We will pay for a hotel so you can be close. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be woken up by young kids who can't sleep or have us stumbling through the living room at all hours, because that's where you'd have to sleep. Being 30 miles away really doesn't help the situation. Now, mom, dad, is there some issue with hotels in general? If you are concerned about safety in a hotel, we will go check it out in person, but we need you to trust us that we will not put you someplace that isn't safe, clean and a treat to be in."

OP, I'm having computer issues and can't see your first posting so I'm not sure if it was your in-laws who stayed 30 miles away at someone's home and then insisted they needed one of your cars. If so: Do not lend them a car. Period. Tell them that with two young kids and two adults you need your cars, yes, cars, plural. Lending a car would only enable the silly behavior of staying 30 miles away.

Is it possible that one or both of them have actually had some bad experiences with hotels in their lives so they are either scared of hotels or believe hotels will be dirty? Husband needs to just ask them that, point blank. He should also tell them that their reluctance to stay in a hotel makes him wonder if they are somehow worried your family can't afford it when you truly can.

I suspect that they just don't want to do it and have expectations that family must stay with family, but if your husband brings up the "Are you worried we don't have the money?" issue and the "Did you have an awful experience we need to know about?" question -- that may frankly embarrass them into doing what is clearly the only real solution: Staying in a hotel.[/quote]

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