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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] She didn't go all negative. She just said it to her husband, probably along with many other things.  And to an earlier poster, she did not put anything "out there."   She had what should have been understood it to be a private conversation with her husband.  [b]Don't you say different things to your spouse, with less of a filter, then you would say to others?  [/b]And she didn't say anything wrong in any event.  I went through extensive fertility treatments.  What's wrong with someone talking with their husband about the possibility.  Is it somehow supposed to be shameful? [/quote]

NP here.
Good post above.

OP, I'd use this as the basis for a sit-down with your husband. Look at PP's words above and use something along those lines. "Honey, I say things to you in the privacy of our marriage that don't necessarily have a filter. I say things that I would not necessarily say to other people. I thought I didn't have to add each time, 'Hey, please don't repeat that,' but in this case it seems like I should have. Please be aware that if I say something personal about someone else, your sister or anyone at all, it's for your ears only and not for repeating. The idea here is that we say things to our spouses that are unfiltered and that let us just think out loud, without worrying about those thoughts being passed along."

Because...that is how things should be between spouses, as the PP notes. I'd really talk with husband about the idea that things you say, whether offhand or random or un-PC or [i]anything[/i], are for him, not for his sister or mother or anyone else.

OP, would he - since he's from a close, "sharing" family -- interpret that as "You're asking me to hide stuff from my family?" If so, his upbringing is getting in the way of your being able to think out loud with him. I guess all you can do then is try to get through to him that this isn't about creating secrets, it's about spouses being able to bounce stuff around without concern that it's going to end up with others. To me, that's a huge, huge part of a good marriage. I'd hate to have to edit what I said to my husband when we're talking through family stuff.

OP, one other thing. I note you say you don't speak to your SIL. What's up with that? (I haven't read all the posts so if you answered that earlier, sorry.) Maybe she just lives far away and you're not that close? That's fine. Just wondering if she would have taken such offense if you and she did communicate and she felt she could say, "What was up with that comment Brother said you made?" But no matter what the deal is with you and your SIL, your husband could be more aware of developing a filer when it comes to repeating what you say. [/quote]

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