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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP here.

I'm trying not to be too hard on her seeing as she is the mother of my dh. I find her world view very concerning and her fears about whites being the minority in the country while knowing her own son married a non-white is just...I have no idea how to even take it. Her grandchildren will not be white!![/quote]

I get this sentiment, but I don't think it's healthy in the long run.  If she were just boorish in general, that's one thing.  But she has specifically racist viewpoints that would be discriminatory against your kids (and are against you).  You might be able to let the roll off your back, but it's not fair to ask children to grow up being criticized that way by their grandmother.  It can cause damage that's not obvious or apparent...especially if your kids feel like you are willing to accept being spoken to in that manner.  Unless things change a lot in the next decade or so, being part-ME your kids may have to contend with a lot of racist remarks in their lives...you want to make sure they have the tools to ensure they are being treated with respect which means not having to hear nasty things about yourself out of obligation.

The flipside is that maybe she just doesn't realize that the people she's criticizing include you.  In my experience, this is pretty common, "X people are so...but of course I don't mean you, you're not like that at all."  In that case, maybe your DH can explain that to her and explain how it's directly offensive to you...not just something you disagree with.  If she's otherwise polite to people whom she identifies with, maybe she'll stop saying stuff around you...and you can decide whether that's good enough to keep up a relationship.[/quote]

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