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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that like so many things this can change over time, with changes in life circumstances (kids being a big one but of course there are others).

Im fine with about once a week; sometimes more, sometimes less.  After I had our second DC I don't think I masturbated for like a year.  I just had no energy for or interest in sex after spending hours every day being touched, doing things for other people, nursing, etc.  But I doubt we ever went more than 2 weeks without sex because I know my DH wants and needs it.

Now, several years later, I know we're mismatched as far as libido, but also, my DH can't seem to ask for anything directly (i.e. "I'd like to have sex more often") and instead makes a lot of sarcastic cracks which often end up hurting my feelings.  I also still spend a lot of my time doing stuff for others and/or trying to take care of myself physically (sleep, exercise) and don't have much left over for anything.  But honestly probably the biggest issue is that DH wants sex to be this involved production and if he were content with a quickie we'd easily be able to have sex twice as often as we do.  [/quote]

This sounds very familiar -- except that with my DW, we very often went 3-4 weeks without sex. Two months during one stretch. And, I'm like your DH in that I've felt put out by the offer of a quickie. If we'd never gone more than two weeks without, I think quickies would be fine. But, if I might not be getting laid for 3-4 weeks, I'm hesitant to "reset" my wife's sex clock by wasting my opportunity on a quickie.

I've also been guilty of the sarcastic quips -- which I admit don't help anything. But, in my (sort of) defense: a) I've expressed my wishes to have sex more often directly and those conversations make her cry anyway because they make her feel like a bad wife; and b) because I've expressed myself several times over the years, she already knows. So the sarcastic quips come out because she knows and nothing is changing. [/quote]

So stop being an asshole. There is no defense for that kind of behavior. And I am a DW who wants way more sex than my DH. [/quote]

I should stop making sarcastic remarks because stopping is the right thing to do. They're just an emotional outburst in response to feeling hurt.  But making them or not making them isn't going to have an impact on the frequency with which we have sex. 
[/quote]

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