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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For example, after a very general blessing before a meal over Christmas, SIL decided it was the right time to tell her children that praying to an imaginary deity before eating was something small-minded people do.  I feel like I can't say anything - not my house - so how can I feel less unhappy about it myself?  IL's just rolled their eyes.  I guess they've been around her long enough to blow it off.[/quote]

PP again.  That's pretty epically rude.  However, if she is expected to participate (bow head, hold hands, etc.) then she may feel it's coerced participation/pressure.  If you are pretty much a biblical literalist (which translation is the true one anyway, or do you read aramaic?), then I think you would find being forced to participate in a...hindu blessing...kind of offensive...so if you really want to be empathetic to her and feel better about her obnoxious behavior, then you could consider that.  It may make it easier to ignore her bad behavior.

All that said - and I am an atheist - I think her behavior is intolerably rude and unacceptable.  I do not think you need to put up with it in YOUR HOUSE.  She needs to teach her children that you are respectful - even if you disagree - of other people's beliefs and customs when you are their guest.

I would take her aside privately - and you probably shouldn't be the person to do this - your husband or sibling (whoever it is that connects you to her) should do it - and tell her that she can respectfully remain silent and not participate in the blessing if she doesn't wish to, but that the overt fight-picking and hostility is unwelcome and that she and her children will be unwelcome if it persists.

This has nothing to do with faith: she's seeking attention and drama...and the only correct response to drama seekers is to refuse to engage them, which often means removing them - like all toxic people - from your life.  Unless she is your blood relative, your husband|wife or your sibling needs to step up and run interference on this for you too.  If you can't simply ignore the (childish) attention-seeking behavior, then someone does need to tell her that she either stops it or she is unwelcome.  Others may be afraid to openly have this conflict in the family (and it can be done discreetly) but they will probably be grateful that you had the guts to tell her to stick a sock in it.[/quote]

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