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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Why blame the ex-husband?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So some of you have shared personal stories but this even happened to the fathers who don't do the things that have been outlined above. I think a lot of the complaining about divorced fathers is similar to the complaining the new mothers do about new fathers. They often think that the father doesn't do it right. I just think that mothers hardly ever give credit to the fathers and even less after the divorce.[/quote] I posted last night about the many ways in which my ex is a terrible father. It is frustrating, at least partially because when he DOES try, when he chooses to be engaged, he is an amazing dad. Unfortunately, because of other factors in his life that he prioritizes over our child, he only sees her about every 10 days. She used to think he hung the moon, but as he becomes less engaged, she also becomes less engaged. I am disappointed because this is not the father/daughter relationship that I want for either of them, and I know he can do better. I don't get credit just for showing up. I don't see why I should give him credit for doing so. [/quote] Controlling, bitter ex wives create parent-child estrangements. People who think your kids don't pick up on your "disappointment" in their Father are deluding themselves.[/quote] I do not feel that it's my responsibility to cover for him with our child. She knows how long it's been since she saw him. She also knows why the schedule is what it is: he chose to take a job that results in him not being here during the week at all, and he also requested only to have her every other weekend "so that he had some down time on the weekend once in a while." I am not controlling or bitter, and the only thing I've done to "create" the estrangement has been to agree to the schedule that he proposed. It's not my responsibility to make him an engaged parent. He has chosen not to be that, and I think less of him for it. I've never said a negative word about him to DD. Children are not oblivious. People who think that kids don't notice when their parents take no interest in their lives are deluding themselves.[/quote] Bet he had to take that job to cover child support. [/quote] He does not pay me any child support, but go ahead and keep dreaming up reasons why I'm a bitter shrew and he's a misunderstood superhero.[/quote]
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