Reply to Why blame the ex-husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So answer this one.... women want a divorce because they think the husband doesn't help around the house enough and they most always want primary custody (child support) but then they are most always upset after the divorce when the ex-husband isn't living in the same house the he is doing even less. If they thought it was hard when there was a husband why are they so upset that its even harder when there is no husband?[/quote]

I blame the ex husband because he doesn't even try to put our kids first.  He comes first.  His needs, his wants, his social life.

He was a crappy husband but that doesn't mean he has to be a crappy father.  He lives nearby; he could take them to the doctor, the orthodontist, pick them up from child care once in a while...  Nope.  You'd think divorce would be a wake up call.  That because he doesn't see his kids as often as most dads, he'd want them whenever humanly possible.  Nope.  Of the four nights a month he takes them, he often leaves them with a babysitter.

Sad thing is, older child has begun to see this and resent him for it.  I keep my mouth shut.  But she's not blind or stupid.[/quote]

I don't think you can refer to him as  a "crappy father" in posts like this and not have your feelings/thoughts about him show up in day-to-day life. Your daughter probably picks up on that. Maybe he feels like you just don't want him around and that you guys essentially kicked in out. Its hard to try and force yourself into a situation when people don't want you there.
[/quote]

I'm not trying to be snarky, but really want to understand the line of thinking behind this comment because my situation is identical and I wish things were more amicable. How can I get him to be more involved if he feels that he's been forced out? I would like it if he visited the kids more often, showed up to events, etc. I'm not asking him to help with homework or anything like that; just for him to be more present in their lives. [/quote]

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