Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think no. 5 sums it up for a lot of men.  "I would be happy with ordered pizza for every Thanksgiving, so why do you knock yourself out?"  They don't necessarily appreciate the importance of relationship-glue rituals and activities.   [/quote]

That is because they don't agree that the rituals and activities are as important as you think they are.  Do you really think watching the playoffs is as important as your spouse thinks they are?

#5 is much more spot on: Neither I nor my father care about his birthday card, only you do.  So feel free to knock yourself out getting it, but don't expect to be compensated for doing something nobody asked for.

My first wife said to me - in regards to laundry, after she'd shrunk a lot of clothes -"you want it done a particular way - [b]YOU DO IT[/b]."  And she was right.  Take ownership (responsibility) for the things that are important TO YOU and don't project those (or the ensuing obligatory gratitude) onto others.  I can't stand the way my now-wife loads the dishwasher, so I do it 90% of the time (and unload) and I don't comment on her loading job if she did it.

Yes, I am a feminist - I support the radical notion that women are people and have just as much responsibility for their own happiness as any man.  [/quote]

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