Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][url]http://www.metafilter.com/151267/Wheres-My-Cut-On-Unpaid-Emotional-Labor[/url]

I"m going to bet that 100% of woman can relate to this.

And that a mans reactions will be split three ways:

[list]1) That's bullshit, just a bunch of women whining (defensive)
2) I don't understand (no interest in spending any time or energy in hearing from women about women)
3) Wow. Huh. I never realized... I never thought of it that way before...  (OMG, HE'S A KEEPER!)[/list]
[/quote]

And then there's this option:

4) Why do you keep expending all this effort for free if nobody is offering to pay you?  What are you getting out of it that makes you keep coming back again and again?

I mean, I'm a guy, and I have a pickup truck and I used to have that thing where every single friend who needs something moved calls me up, over and over, but they never offer to pay me for my moving services.  I mean: I've got a life too...and I don't want to spend every weekend doing heavy lifting or loaning out my vehicle.  Yes, sure, I'm pretty strong physically, have a good back, so I'm just naturally "built" for this kind of work, plus, hey, I've got a pickup.  Why do people assume that I want to move stuff for free?  Well...because they are my friends, and they need favors.  They are going to ask.  And the thing is, I just have to say, "gee, I'm sorry, but I'm already committed".

The fact that the author doesn't seem to be able to say no to all these Emotional Leeches who chain her to the grindstone of the Patriarchy and extort Emotional Labor out of her, when she's pretty clearly drained by it, says to me, she gets something out of it.  Kind of the way Nice Guys(TM) like to get something (a date of sorts?) out of providing free moving labor for Hot Women they lust after (and then bitch endlessly when the transactional hookup doesn't occur).[/quote]

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