Reply to How to decline being a bridesmaid in stepsister's wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand what people are getting so upset about.  It sounds like you WANT to go, aren't sure if you'll financially be able to swing it, and want to decline being a bridesmaid in case you can't make it. Right?

Two options:
1) Say "we have every intention of trying to make it out for your big day, it would mean the world for us to celebrate with you-- unfortunately, we're just not sure if we will be able to make it at this point, and I'd hate for you to count on me to be a bridesmaid and have to back out at the last minute.  I'm honored that you thought of me, and we hope to be at the wedding, but I just can't commit to being a bridesmaid right now." 
2) Say basically the above, but instead of declining, say "If there is a way for me to be involved with the wedding at the last minute --helping pass out programs, giving a toast at the rehearsal dinner, or even being a bridesmaid if it can be a last minute decision-- I'd love to support you in some way.  I just know how stressful wedding planning can be, and I don't want to add any more stress or uncertainty to your planning process!"

I think you should absolutely be there if you can make it happen, and it sounds like you want to make it work. (FWIW, I do agree that no one will really care about DD-- I'm sure she's wonderful, but speaking from experience, other people care a lot less about your kids than you think they do). [/quote]

OP here. Thank you for understanding!

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