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[quote=Anonymous]OP here again.  The issue is can I move past the hurt in order to now start having a closer relationship with these in-laws and nurture a cousin relationship between the new cousins.  In the past, we did not see them often and didn't have much of an in-person relationship with them--for example, we have never spent holidays with them, and quite frankly I don't think I want to spend holidays with them now, given how they treated us.  But now that they will soon have a child and now that we have a child, and they are going to be the only cousins, I would imagine they will want to have a closer relationship so the cousins can get to know each other.

They live in Pittsburgh, so it's a drive but not so far that we couldn't get together with them a few times a year for milestone occasions/holidays.  Their child will be our child's only cousin, so this relationship is an important one.  But I do feel snubbed and what bothers me the most is that they announced their pregnancy with a lengthy conversation about how our daughter is doing (the very first time they ever asked about her).  I think I'd feel less snubbed if they just announced their pregnancy in a normal way--not starting out the phone call with a 10 minute discussion of our daughter's preschool, etc.  DH is the type to just brush issues like this under the rug and never deal with them, but that has ended up in him being the doormat in his family, which has always bothered me.

DH's 40th birthday is coming up in March, and he mentioned inviting them (his parents are coming in from out of state for the occasion, we're having a big party at home).  I am hesitant about inviting them.  Not sure what we will do.[/quote]

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