Reply to How do I respond to my GF's behavior on NYE?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't like the way she went for the jugular - literally attacking you with the intent to hurt you as deeply as possible. And all because you drank the water - wtf?

I like the way you handled things - you didn't tolerate it and went home. She may be the kind of person who can't respect you unless you stick up for yourself against her abuse. But she'll probably keep testing your boundaries this way - projecting all of her insecurity, etc on you, attacking you for it then coming back the next day with an apology.

[b]It's unacceptable behavior. If you stay with her, you need to let her know that and stick to your guns. Don't let this become a pattern where she abuses you, you stick up for yourself and she comes back with her tail between her legs - that's a really easy (and unhealthy) pattern to get stuck in.[/b]

I highly doubt that you've never seen such behavior in her before. If you stay with her despite her abuse, you need to ask yourself why you want to be with someone like this.

If you were my son i would really want you to leave the relationship - I think many of us are old enough to be your mother and have lived and learned which is why we're telling you to get out. There are plenty of young women who wouldn't treat you this way.[/quote]

+1.  If you were already married I would recommend some sort of couples counseling and then I thought if you are in early 20's and only 2 years with no kids, in is it even worth the work to salvage the relationship at this point or just cut your losses?  If you break up and this is some sort of immaturity on the part of the girlfriend versus it being her personality, she will learn the hard lesson now about how you should treat someone you love and won't make that mistake with the next guy.

Trying to be hurtful in an argument is a deal breaker for me in my friendships and definitely in my romantic relationships.  Maybe there is that person that can let it roll of their back or be equally as nasty but that's not me..  How can I trust someone and be open knowing the first time they get upset with me over anything they will use that to try to hurt me?  Publically berating me is the other deal breaker.  I fully realize there are things that you can say privately to a person in a way that you don't put the person on the defensive and they are free to respond that if you say the same thing in a group of people it puts the person on the defensive and they may not feel comfortable even responding to the issue with other people around and that assume you are even trying to be delicate about it.  If you are flat out yelling at someone as if they are a child - no way.  Would you stay friends with someone that acted that way?  Why would you accept that from a romantic partner.[/quote]

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