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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, I'm team teenagers here. Two wrongs don't make a right, but you're telling me that the kids should just forget that the grandparents wanted nothing to do with them when they were kids and all of a sudden it should be water under the bridge? Uh-uh. And your MIL sounds like a real peach to comment on your parenting 15 years after you've been doing a good job. 
 I think back to my childhood and my grandparents would come to gymnastics meets and dance recitals, or just hang out with us, and it wasn't a case of my parents looking for a handout or free babysitting. My grandparents genuinely wanted to spend time with us and my parents. [/quote]

Believe it or not I'm  team teenagers too, but I also believe OP should be as supportive of the relationship with the grandparents as possible.
This isn't a case where the grandparents were horribly abusive, they didn't visit and babysit as often as OP and her husband thought they should have.  Who knows what there side of the story is.
Did OP and her husband ask for help? Were the grandparents willing to help, but got tired of being micromanaged every visit so they figure it would be best to make infrequent visits and wait to the kids were older and less dependent on mom and dad.
I grew up without my grandparents. We lived far from them, they came out from time to time to visit my  older siblings, but by the time me and my younger sister were born they didn't visit. They still traveled and did their thing, but they were not  a frequent presence in me and my younger siblings life.
I'm in my 30s now, I have only 1 grandmother remaining, and she is in ill health and doesn't know who any of us are. I'm grateful for the little bit of time I did have with her, and if I were to find out my  grandparents came to my mother  and asked for ways to spend time with me, and my mom didn't try out of her own personal  vendetta I would be angry at my mother.
Life is very, very short.  How many more healthy years might they have?
OP can choose to be a bigger person.
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