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[quote=Anonymous]
Well OP, what is your child's diagnosis?

It sounds as if he has Asperger's.
My ADHD 10 year old can be quite rigid, and he may be a borderline Asperger's case, but it gets better with ADHD medication. He refuses to do math according to MCPS rules and refuses to incorporate teacher's suggestions into his writing - and always has good reasons to do so, so I don't fight that. I prefer he get an imperfect grade rather than follow blindly and learn a crappy math method or change his essay to include stupid stuff the sped teacher tells him to include.

HOWEVER. I'm a very strict parent, and if DS doesn't comply with my rules, then he gets severely punished. I also implement a very regular routine at home, with lots of sleep, set times for wholesome meals and bedtime, downtime, no screens and serene home environment. Completing math homework and writing essays is one of my rules. He can do it *his* way, since it's more thoughtful and researched than what they teach at his public school. I give him a pass on the inane vocab homework, which he doesn't need anyway.

My point is that you have to know your child, and what ultimately will serve him best in the long-term. Following rules is important, obeying one's parents is important, but you don't need to follow ALL rules ALL the time - that is very difficult for a rigid child to understand, but is sometimes necessary to implement with a twice exceptional student (a gifted child with disabilities). You have to treat possible anxiety, explain and model all social interactions he may be missing, and work on the rigidity as best you can.

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