Reply to Deciding to have an only child b/c of infertility

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[quote=Anonymous]
One of the best parts of my motherhood has been providing a whole new experience for my children. I grew up in a two kid (B/G) household. My children are also a B/G set. The dynamic I set with them could not be more different than how I grew up with my sibling. I've established such a different tone between them!

Your DC may be an "only" but she doesn't have to share your experience of being lonely----not at all. Just as you would have put considerable energy into ensuring the relationship with a sibling would have been close and productive, you have the same opportunity now with any only to create a rich, wonderful life experience!

I've had the chance to heal my own childhood mishagas through my Duo. Wishing you the same adventure with your one.

Having two is only the start of a life long project of bringing the two children together. Giving birth to two is absolutely NO guarantee that they will be friends or maintain any sort of healthy bond. That, my dear, is a daily exercise. Your DH's relationship with his sib should stand as evidence here.

Please don't feel bad that you aren't supplying DD with a sibling, if that's how things go. Her life is yours to build in so many other meaningful ways. Heal yourself through this experience. Parenthood means being able to provide whatever it is that you lacked. In your case sibling is just a placeholder for all the things you imagine go with it. Don't continue to hurt yourself by thinking a sibling is a cure-all.

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