Reply to 10-year-old DD only wants to read YA fantasy novels

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never allow it.  If this is A Court of Thorns and Roses, here is what Commonsensemedia says:

Though the heated descriptions are usually more titillating than graphic, sex is a big part of the story, and it's not just the attraction between Feyre and Tamlin. As the story begins, Feyre's friends-with-benefits relationship with a village boy is ending; Tamlin, being immortal, has had many lovers. A character must play the starring role in a fertility rite, having ritual sex to ensure the year's crops.

Killing, mutilation, and gore -- of faeries, humans, and other species -- are a constant presence and vividly described, as when a faerie's wings are hacked off or another's head is impaled in the garden. Characters are sometimes forced to kill against their will; sometimes they do it enthusiastically. There's also strong sexual menace: One character becomes the lackey and sex slave of an evil queen to save his kingdom from a worse fate; Feyre is menaced by characters intent on raping and killing her and in other scenes is beaten until her bones fracture. The royals and courtiers of the various faerie Courts have a long history of deadly intrigue that often runs to wiping out all their relatives.

Recurring strong language includes "s--t," "damn," and "hell

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/a-court-of-thorns-and-roses

Yes, that's the book. Thanks for the reference.
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I'm the poster above who gave the specific info. on the book.  I'm interested in whether any of the (many) parents who thought it was just fine feel the same way after seeng the particulars on the book, now.  (Meaning, are we that lax that we just okay things for our kids without spending a few minutes investigating them???)[/quote]

I don't believe in censoring reading material. I have a 10yo 5th grader. She's on the innocent/immature side. She wouldn't be interested in something like this, because she doesn't like romance, but if she expressed an interest, I'd recommend somethig more her speed. If she insisted, I'd make sure we discussed the more provocative themes.

I read my first stephen king novel when I was in 6th grade. I'm sure I read things in 5th grade that would be considered inappropriate. I'm glad my mom didn't try to censor me. If she had, I would have either sneaked to read the forbidden books or stopped reading. I feel it's much healthier to let them explore in the open rather than sneak and hide or shut down. [/quote]

In total agreement with the last quoted poster. I don't censor media or "not allow" my children to read/watch something unless law or policy requires it  (i.e. no, at 12 they couldn't go alone to an R rated movie in theater... either I went along or they had to wait for it to be released on video/DVD. )

If needed we just discuss themes, new info, or anything else they want to talk about.

If they're no longer enjoying the book for any reason they'll choose to stop reading.

I read tons of "questionable" things as a tween or teen, with plenty of olence and sex included. Generally I skipped over the sex to get to the rest of the plot, but even when I didn't, things I didn't understand at the time went right over my head. I don't think my reading material did me any harm, nor has this policy seemed to negatively impact my two oldest (now 22 and 20).

We're continuing the same discussion but no censorship policy with DD12 and will do so with  DD3 when it becomes applicable unless she for some reason seems to need firmer limits to keep from making choices that overwhelm or upset her.[/quote]

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