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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] After that, now a days I just watch TV or read a book and she just eats ice cream and is on facebook. [/quote]

If she is eating lots of ice cream, she is depressed.  that's what women do when they are depressed.  Maybe something is going wrong in her job?  Is one of the children having problems?  I think you need to find the source of her depression...  Once we know that, we can do a better job helping you figure out how to help her.[/quote]

She might be depressed but probably because of the overeating leading to weight gain, leading to lower self-esteem and more eating, etc... It's a cycle that can be challenging to break out of. And it most certainly makes her not feel sexy or want to see or feel her own body being touched. I am recovered from a past eating disorder and this really impacts sexuality and body image.

Op--she needs help with her weight and then she will be able to be more present in the marriage and her own life. Thing is, you can't say "you are fat". What you can and should say is that you need to talk, and when alone after kids are in bed explain that you have noticed she doesn't seem as happy as she used to and she seems less comfortable in her own skin lately, and ask if she wants more time on her own to help herself feel better, be it through a gym, weight watchers program, hobbies out alone, etc... And hopefully she will take the initiative to do something.

She is probably binge eating to avoid feeling emotions, which again is a terrible cycle. Group meetings with others in the same boat can be very powerful.[/quote]

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