Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I haven't read every response but I sort of understand what you're going through. Two years ago I had a much less serious medical incident that left me incapacitated for several months. I work FT and have 2 kids, and the reaction across the board was basically OK, that's interesting, what's new?

I don't resent my family at all - they live far away, one was caring for a parent with dementia, and my condition was so weird (idiopathic, no known cause) that I think it was hard for them to appreciate how disruptive and scary this was. I was more floored by friends and neighbors who saw me totally disabled or heard about my condition and never lifted a finger to offer a ride (I couldn't drive) or just come by and visit.

I have wondered what would happen if I had a more serious illness or one of longer duration: who would help my family? And yes, I have helped my friends in tough times - made meals, watched kids, etc. In my case I suspect that not asking explicitly for help was part of the problem. But it seemed so self-evident that I became really hurt that they didn't simply offer, as I'd done in the past for them.

Your experience is far, far worse and far more upsetting, and I would have trouble getting over it. But sadly, I suspect it's not totally unusual.[/quote]

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