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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I suported my mom while she tended to her morher's needs, and her mom sounds a lot like yours. My grandmother was a negligent mother on the best days, and an emotionally abusive monster the rest of the time. However, my mom's two siblings were more inclined to let their mom live out the rest of her life in a nursing home; nobody pushed for in-home care. My mother still visited her often, dealt with issues with the nursing home staff, worked with her doctors, brought her things she needed, etc. At some point, I think my mom realized that she owed none of this to her mother, but she made a decision to do it anyway. It was always a balancing act between being responsible and getting taken advantage of. I was so relieved when my grandmother finally died..I think it freed my mother in some way. No advice here, except to take care of yourself and do not turn your home life upside down by going the home care route for someone who hurt you. You can visit your mom in assisted living or s nursing home, and take comfort in knowing that when you leave, her basic needs will be met by staff.[/quote]

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