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[quote=Anonymous]DW here: it's easier to have a good sex life if she feels desired but not pressured. Let's give two examples to help;

BF prior to DH: ignored me (watched the news, took phone calls, etc) until he wanted to have sex, pounced with little foreplay/chat/affection, got what he needed  mechanically, talked a little, kiss good night, rolled over with back to me, slept that way. Criticized my lingerie, of all things. I got the impression that he didn't really want to be with me. DH thinks he was just immature, superficial or awkward.

Result: I felt alone, empty, unwanted and terrible at sex.

DH: I pounced because I thought that's what men wanted.  Whoa! He said, let's talk first, too much pressure. We talked, moved slow, smoother interaction, snuggled, talked some more, went on to various sex acts as came up spontaneously.

Result: I felt attractive and wanted to be more intimate with him and we tried new things over time. He's the one I married because he made me feel like he wanted to have sex with ME rather than just a bodily function in which I was involved. He still does and we meet for lunches at home, sometimes to snuggle, sometimes to talk/eat, often to have sex. It helps tremendously.

Here's what I mean: do you want your DW to feel enthusiastic? You have to pace it. Don't make it a test. Don't come in with a laundry list of demands. Do take the time to give as well as receive. Sometimes just snuggle.
Don't make her feel self-conscious about clothing or performance. Actually care about what you're doing and why you're doing it.

Sex is fun for women when it's an expression of love and affection. If you treat it as a bodily function or act as if you'd rather be with somebody else -- the younger, not mommy-tired version of her; the thinner, prepregnancy version of her or some other woman entirely -- you'll face a depressed woman who doesn't want to look at you, hear your voice or think about you ever again. Sex? Forget it.

There are two examples. Take your pick.[/quote]

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