Reply to How to make sex a priority without making it a chore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

How did your wife respond when you had this conversation?  Did she say anything?  Push back at all?  Or just listen and walk away?  [/quote]

As I mentioned, there was some crying. She said she felt like she wasn't good enough for me. She assured me that she thought I was attractive. She said she wanted to want to have sex but she didn't. I got a vasectomy and she got off the hormonal birth control. After that, the quality of the sex got better & she definitely seemed to enjoy it more. (Without getting into too much detail, she got her periods back and during certain parts of her cycle she's a lot more responsive -- if I can actually get sex started.) For awhile, after the initial awkwardness following the sex conversation passed, the frequency increased. I think she was making a point to read erotica and to make sure she was up for sex once a week or so.

I don't mind being unapologetic about my desire to have sex with her. But, I'm not giving her an ultimatum because, frankly, if the sex doesn't get any better, I love her enough and she's good enough to me in other ways that I'm just going to suck it up and deal with it. I don't mind being unapologetic about my desire for sex, but [b]I'd like to be able to have a conversation that's productive without making her feel bad about herself and doesn't make her view sex negatively. 
[/b]
(Thanks, by the way, for all of the responses.) [/quote]

I think you need to frame the conversation differently -  more like I think WE need to focus on our relationship more.  Think of some things that you could improve on with regard to your relationship.  Then she'll feel less attacked and more like it's a team effort.[/quote]

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