Reply to Should I leave or agree to counseling first?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what kind of abuse did DH suffer as a child?  If he was sexually abused, his interest in viewing child pornography or bestiality may be a subconscious attempt to reprocess the victimizing sex that he experienced as a child by confronting a similar dynamic indirectly, in a "safe" context where he feels like he is in control.  The fact that he says he views porn when he's angry strikes me as a sign that the habit is about sorting out feelings of victimization rather than feeling attraction to children or animals.

You would be entirely justified in leaving, of course.  However, if you love your DH and want to try to save your  family, you need to talk to a therapist who specializes in PTSD arising out of childhood sexual abuse, preferably male on male.  The therapist can help you understand what is going on and can also treat your husband or refer him out.  It will take years of counseling for your DH, and possibly medication to ease the anger and treat the obsessive thinking, but he can beat this.

Do not separate unless you are sure you want to divorce.  Separation causes people to grow apart, and where kids are involved, it creates a whole new set of issues to further strain an already strained relationship.

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