Reply to Help me out with this- new Christmas dilemma

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, there is an easy fix. Encourage your husband to do what he probably really wants to do, which is for him to have a private (private is important) discussion with BIL about this. Men understand this - many wouldn't want another man paying their way. Chances are they can reach an agreement - an amount your DH an offer and BIL should accept that would let DH be at peace with this. But this should be private between them - don't get all involved/actually better if you don't know the details. You are not to be discussing it with your family - you do and you blow the whole deal. One last thing ~ it wasn't the best form for this BIL to spring-this on everyone, getting many excited with the anticipation that this was happening - without speaking privately first to the adults involved.[/quote]

But OP's husband is in an impossible situation.  Simply having such a conversation means he "loses" and the rich bil wins the dominance game.

The only way OP's husband wins the dominance game is for OP to say "No thanks, we've decided to stay at home for Christmas this year," but only if she can do that without carrying lifelong resentment against her husband.

Rich BIL sounds like a complete phony trying to impress everyone with his money, anyway.   [/quote]

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