Reply to Anyone have a high schooler that you don't think is ready for college yet?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think they are supposed to diagnose that this early - are you sure your care providers are reputable?

- Parent with similar issues - DD did grow out of some of the issues (with therapy) but our providers really cautioned against bringing that diagnosis into play at a young age. [/quote]

Op here:  they don't usually diagnose bpd until a girl is 18 and i think needs to be at a certain level of maturity. They are treating her for all of it and have said she could outgrow many (or even all) of her adhd, depression, anxiety etc.

I am confidant in her counsellors. it's so hard to tell with her. Thank you for your comments. [/quote]

Good luck. I know its a hard road. ADHD and depression are still under treatment for our DD. I would describe our progress as two steps forward, one back, so hang in there. I read a book on BPD at one point and used a lot of the validating listening techniques- can't recall book - b/c I had some concerns DD would have this. In any event the techniques for how to validate without agreeing have been very valuable for my relationship with DD. [/quote]

I am guessing the book was "Stop Walking on Eggshells."  Am a huge fan of anyone who has a teen with problems learning validation techniques.  It's a shame it seems to be largely reserved for dealing with those with BPD.   OP, I heartily endorse the recommendation of exploring learning about validation.

These techniques helped enormously with my DD who faced a confusing mess of medical and psychological problems and the academics of high school was the thing that had to go for her to cope.  Academics had always been my priority so it was hard to let go, but at some point I realized it was either that or a child who literally would not survive.  That made the choice more than clear.

She just missed finishing high school.  It took a good two years or more to bring her back to a place that could pass for not sick.  Almost overnight and on her own she did her GED and enrolled in CC, where she is doing spectacularly and has set challenging goals for her future studies.

This has all taken me by surprise--I would have been overwhelmingly happy if she had not gone to college but instead found some engaging work she could go off to happily every day.

OP, I count my blessings every day that we live in America.  This is the land of the second, third, and nth chances.  You can reinvent yourself and many do it every day.  There are very, very few other countries where this is possible.  Your DD has so many ways to success in front of her.

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