Reply to Letting Go Of " Mr. Perfect."

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Reply to "Letting Go Of " Mr. Perfect.""

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's kind of an "estimation game," or it was for me.

I knew my spouse was stable, mature, and committed to working things out when things got rough. I knew we didn't agree on everything, but we had the same or very similar values about the stuff that was important to me.  We had weathered disagreements ok--sometimes it meant that one of us just acquiesced (not our point of view, but our behavior) to accommodate the very strong opinion of the other.  He was also a person of integrity at work and in his personal relationships -- he had good friends, both men and women -- who were stable, smart, kind, and good role models for each other.

I also thought that, well, if it didn't work out, I was pretty sure our divorce would be amicable and reasonable. Because, hey, divorce happens. And that would be the worst thing I could imagine happening to us. Not abuse, not infidelity, not deep hatred or disrespect, or anything like that.

I think we're a pretty typical couple in many ways. Going on 12 years now.  He is steadfast, he challenges me, I drive him crazy sometimes and vice versa, but he's also open to loving, reconciling, negotiating, standing his ground, and ceding it, too.  Basically a good person.

You know what?  I'd say the key is that we're both good communicators and good at making sure the other person is getting the space to say what's on his/her mind, too. I could not marry a non-communicator. Or someone who holds long term grudges or cannot love someone who disagrees with him sometimes.[/quote]

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