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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you're dealing with two things here. The first is that your in laws' religion is intolerant, which sucks, but there's not much you can do about it. If you complain about that, you will be accused of intolerance yourself for not accepting someone else's beliefs. The best you can really do is ask that your in laws not discuss who is or is not going to hell around your daughter, which may or may not work. Theoretically, there are other things to talk about, and you could try focusing on "That's not language we feel is appropriate for our DD, so let's stick to football and needlepoint." I know that will likely be difficult at best, but it's worth a shot.

I think your larger issue is the way your husband is dealing with the situation. There is a difference between "becoming more conservative" and believing that all Muslims are going to hell or are terrorists, or all Arabs are Muslims, or whatever it is we're talking about. He can become more conservative. He can even become religious. But making bigoted remarks about your heritage isn't acceptable at all, and allowing his family to do so is equally unacceptable.

I would sit down for a serious conversation with your husband, and bring up specific examples of things your in laws have said that are offensive and personally directed.  He cannot, CANNOT be sweet to them when they're rude to you. If my husband did that to me around his parents, I would simply refuse to go and refuse to allow him to take our daughter with him either. [/quote]

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