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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
11:31 again. Nobody was in the right or wrong in this situation, I should add. It's just your little self-absorption that triggered her little selfish huffiness, and if it was just a one time thing, it wouldn't matter at all. In my family however, this is what usually happens, and therefore it becomes a problem. You need to analyze your family dynamics to see who triggers who doing what, and try to avoid it during holiday get-togethers.

[/quote]  I disagree wholeheartedly.  There was someone wrong in this--op.  She goes to someone's home and instead of socializing she pawns her child off on family members, monopolizes the host's computer and one of the other guests and then gets huffy when the host says it is time to stop.   Op's mom was not selfish.  She was fed up with her grown daughter acting like an entitled brat.[/quote]

[b]If you have such a formal relationship[/b], then do that.
Most people feel much more relaxed and can initiate projects in their family member's homes. I DO agree that there is a point when it becomes rude. But that point is different for every family. The mother could also be a needy attention-seeking person who wants everyone around her constantly - we don't know how people are in OP's family.

So with incomplete facts, I don't want to judge OP. I'm just telling her to avoid triggering her mother next time. That will work whether or not OP or her mother are irrational creatures.
[/quote] Common [b]curtsy[/b] is now labeled as a "formal relationship?." [/quote]

Courtesy. 
You are willfully misunderstanding me. My parents come into my home and I don't mind if they start a project, as long as they do emerge every now and then to spend time with us. That's called living as a family. In a more formal relationship, people are on their "visiting" behavior, where everyone is supposed to be making meaningful conversation all the time. It's not the usual dynamic of a family. The trick is to adjusting to other people's expectations in a way that doesn't compromise your own principles. Sometimes that means staying at a hotel or limiting contact :-)

[/quote] Oh, heaven forbid, autocorrect got it wrong.   :roll:    --  Refraining from doing your own projects, dumping your kids on others to supervise and monopolizing someone else's computer at a family gathering now constitutes "compromising your principles?"  Now, that is an odd view of family behavior and personal maturity.[/quote]

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