Reply to For those with college-aged houseguests?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My college age daughter (I assume) would have no clue what the proper placement of cutlery is on a table. My kids grew up doing sports after school and we didn't do a lot of eating at the dinner table. I think my college daughter is a lovely human and parented well. Her ability to properly place cutlery has zero to do with manners.

If these Relatives don't know you extremely well, loading and unloading dishes would be awkward. I would have no clue how someone else liked their dishes loaded nor where to put them away. I think if I tried to help someone else clean their kitchen I would stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

What I can tell you is that your disdain of your relatives and your personal opinion of their upbringing is surely not lost on them. I'm sure when they run to their phones they are probly texting "get me the heck out of here". I know I would be.
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How did your daughter eat her meals?  Standing up?  Did she never eat a weekend or holiday meal at a proper
Table?  I agree with you that table setting is quite a small pet of being a well mannered human being but if you somehow ate proper meals so rarely that your daughter can't tell you what a table
Setting looks like, that seems like you failed her on this level. I mean even restaurants have these expectations. Your daughter will have to eat in one someday, and she will hopefully be a house guest as well.[/quote]

Small part, not small pet.  Sorry.[/quote]

Sure once in awhile we are holiday dinners at a table or the occasional weekend dinner at the table. I have no clue what order I put the cutlery in at the table during those times. I don't value it at all...I value the people sitting at the table. Don't give a damn if the spoon is on the inside or the outside of the knife. Because I don't value that as a parent does not make me a failure as a parent "in that area". It makes me a parent who does not consider that something important to focus on. And for heavens sake it's not like a life skill you learn from a lifetime of parenting...it's something you learn once in two minutes.

My kids would, I would bet, clean up their own messes as a houseguest. They would bring their dishes to the sink after eating. But I don't think they would proactively ask to load the dishwasher. They might say "can I help with anything" if everyone else was running around cleaning. They would definitely be on their phones most of the time. Heck I have my family at my house (my parents and my brother) and all of them are on their phones all day and night, as am I. I don't think a thing of it.

I'm not judgemental enough to make blanket statements about a whole generation of kids and parents nor clueless enough to think that my parenting was perfect.

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Deflect, deflect, deflect.[/quote]

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