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[quote=Anonymous]back to OP. I think its been very hard on you, and you feel bad because you're resentful, but you know that hasn't helped, and he's depressed, so you dont want to make it worse, yadda yadda.

I think you need to now focus on doing what you can to ensure he is up to date with certification and getting a job in teaching. If he's truly committed to it, then I think you have to let go of the past 3 years and focus on the future. But make sure he understands that he really has to move in that direction and bartending is not an option for much longer.

I would cast it less as 'you need a real job' and more as the fact that your schedules are untenable, you dont have family time together and its exhausting. But I would point out that during the day, he can and should be doing things to take the load off you, since presumably you have full time care of kids every night. Can you make it not about blame and just about creating a schedule so that you both have time for work, sleep and a relatively balanced load with the kids? a couple sessions of therapy might help, and some individual for you, just to have a place to deal with your volatile feelings. [/quote]

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