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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for your replies.  I think one of the biggest barriers in my mind is the fact that I have close to zero emotional support.  My husband is supportive, but he won't be able to be with me at the appointments much unless my MIL is able to come in from out of state.  Also, he sees this journey as he wants a second child no matter what I have to go through, but for me it's more complicated because I am the one who has to go through all of the IVF stuff--being poked, prodded and monitored.  But beyond that, not having any support would make it very hard to go through all of this, as this is a long journey.

PP whose therapist helped her come up with a framework to get through the whole process day by day, could you share a little bit about that and what you found most helpful?

A support group only helps so much.  I would need some major hand holding on a daily basis through this whole thing, and that's what I will be unable to find, not in my husband or anyone else given the lack of social support/community that we have.[/quote]

NP here. [b] OP, I have a strong support network and community here and went through multiple IVF cycles.  No one was holding my hand through any of it.  Who in your life that lived close would even have the time to do that?  People have their own lives, jobs, and kids. [/b] My DH was there for the major stuff.  But I don't think that's a reasonable expectation or even a real barrier.  The one person I did confide in regularly was my sister who lives far away.  We would talk on the phone when things were emotionally rough, which was very helpful.  Is there someone in your life that you could call when things are tough?

I sincerely don't want to make you feel bad, but I just can't imagine letting fear and anxiety get in the way of something so significant and life changing that you really want.  Maybe you don't want another kid.  Ok, done.  Move on.  But if you do, this is going to stop you?  If you or your child had a life-threatening illness, you would get to the doctor and the hospital and pursue treatments and do whatever it takes, yes?  Or your spouse?  Obviously infertility isn't life-threatening, but my point is you must have levels of resolve and coping skills that you can draw on somewhere.

This is life.  This is not the most overwhelming thing you will face.  I would just encourage you to talk to a therapist for coping strategies for what I'm sure are very real anxieties and fears before giving up.  It would only benefit you down the road.

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I agree with the bolded 150%.  It sounds like you are lonely and picture this ideal where great friends and/or family would be your crutch through IVF.  However, this isn't reality even for those of us who have a ton of close buddies or family.  It's NOT fair to others to expect them to be your constant emotional support.  If you do need this (nothing wrong with this) then it's time to get a therapist or get in closer contact with the therapist you already have.  Friends care but they're not there to be a daily crutch.   Perhaps this is why have had trouble making friends.  People can sense neediness and even the most well-meaning people don't have time for this.  They have their own issues, needs, etc.  It is 100% unrealistic to expect friends to "get you through IVF".  It's not just fair to your friends.

That said, it sounds like you have really significant issues with anxiety and could benefit from medication.  I don't say this lightly but something in your life needs to improve.  Crying for "weeks" over a surgery is.not.normal.  Life can be SO much better than this!!!!

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