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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been in a long term affair with a coworker for a long time. Even though I'm younger and in better shape that my AP's wife, I'm still jealous of her! I know she's a victim in all of this but I still feel that way and have fantasize of telling her about my relationship with her husband. Just fantasy and I would never ever do that. I wonder if it's normal to feel that way.[/quote]

Why are you still married? If you want to tell it means you have some fantasy that he is the one and everything would be great if you could just be married to each other. I've had that fantasy and know it well.

No, you can't tell her. It may or may not break up the marriage, but it could kill your career because word WOULD get back to work. The gossip will follow you wherever you go.

You need to be with someone who is free to be with you. Apparently, your husband doesn't fit the bill. Figure out why that is and whether it can be repaired. Maybe it can't be, but this guy is not a solution. Also, at some point you will get to the place in the affair where it will end or his failure to leave her will become intolerable, and then you will be miserable at work. Trust me on that.

Signed,
Left husband, then had affair, cut off affair, then left job, affair rekindled but still haven't told her and am trying to cut off affair for good.[/quote]

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