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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you put them to work? Ask them to pitch in/"do you mind doing xyz, it would be soo helpful!" Then either you have help or they don't like it and they decide not to stay so long...or at all.

My MIL lives with us, and is also from another culture (not Asian), but she's enormously helpful. I don't know how we would do it without her. I don't know how other people do it without the so-called village. Not that she doesn't drive me crazy sometimes; she most certainly does. But she's SO helpful I can't really complain too much. Sometimes I suspect that's her plan, ha. [/quote]

New Poster. My Asian MIL is quite helpful when she stays with us. She helps with cooking and watches the kids if needed. I don't ask her to do these things but she does it herself.  However, afterwards she will go on and on about how she was able to work, cook elaborate meals, and raise 2 successful children without any help from her inlaws as they lived in India (with their oldest son). So I'd rather not take any of her help since she has this kind of attitude towards it.[/quote]

OP here: Like I said earlier, its the same for me...I rather do all the stuff instead of them bragging about it...[/quote]

This is how they are, most of them. They LOOVE to brag about what awesome mothers/spouses/dils/daughters they were. I am Indian and its more or less the same of many Indian mother in laws, particularly the ones who came later in life. It's rather infuriating.

They will NEVER have any expectations of their daughters, just their daughter in laws.

I lived with my in-laws for 18 months. It was awful. Seriously co templated walking out with my 2.5 year old and 6 month old. Spouse realized how terrible they were and finally asked them to go. You need to get through to him. [/quote]

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