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[quote=Anonymous]Your father is an ass OP.  I'm sorry.  And I'm glad your biopsy was negative!

I love the snarky, full-on, how dare you kind of response, but it probably isn't the best for long-term calm.  (I have a lot of these dynamics in my family.)  I have learned not to fuel any drama in any way.  But I've also learned (and am still trying) to be my own best ally in setting boundaries.

How about one or more of these:

- I'm sorry if you are upset Dad.  I called Mom on her birthday and sent her a present.  I will follow up with her and make sure she doesn't feel slighted.

- If Mom is upset please have her talk with me.

- The guilt trip is inappropriate Dad.  I didn't forget MOm's birthday and if she is upset she can talk to me directly.

I think if you bring up the biopsy then you are adding another level of drama.  Not that you are intending that, but it is still likely to be used as fuel for something, which probably isn't helpful in the long run.  However, IMO you are also fully entitled to play that card if you want to, as your father is COMPLETELY out of line and what you were going through was probably quite scary.[/quote]

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