Reply to Downsizing aging parent: 2 sibs who live close+1 who lives far=drama

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar situation this summer. One of my parents required life saving heart surgery, DH was overseas, my brother went AWOL and my other sibling my sister freaked out yelling at me to come down to our hometown to help manage my dad's surgery and my mother who was a basket case.

I sucked it up and rented a suite. in an extended stay hotel for a week.  I had to bring my kids and my dog.  I hired sitters and enrolled the children in camp.  My father almost died in that surgery and was on life support for 4 days.  I can't imagine if I hadn't been there to literally, physically hold my mother when they told her re the complications and to prepare for last rites.

Sometimes life is inconvenient, expensive and a pain. Just because you are out of town and have a complicated life doesn't mean you get a pass.  Sorry.  I would find a way not to take your kids.  If yon need to take your kids find a sitter, a high school kid with a car to take them to a museum, the movies, a park, etc., anywhere, so you can 100% focus on the task at hand.  The task isn't to show your sisters how hard your life is managing your kids (this isn't show and tell), does that make sense?  If you are waiting for the other sisters to "get" how hard you already have it and say "OMG, your life is already so stressful, don't worry about it" you have the wrong attitude.

I often write checks to my parents and my sister re handling medical and other costs of my father's ongoing care.  My sister goes from yelling at me to giving me praise. I need to grin in bear it, because in reality she is the one handling the day to day, everyday.[/quote]

Get a grip.  This is moving.  Not life-threatening surgery.  Lots of drama queen martyrs on this thread.[/quote]

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