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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is 68, and relatively healthy except for aches and pains.  She's fully retired.  She lives in New England in a country area with her longtime partner, a very nice man.

I am a single WOHM of two girls, 7 and 12 YO.

My mom loves to lay on the guilt that we don't visit her enough.  However, she refuses to come visit me.  She is afraid of planes and trains, can't take the "stress" of travel, and says she can't drive long distances.

It really hurts my feelings that she is unwilling to make the effort to see not only me, but her only granddaughters.  She doesn't have much money but I'd happily pay for Mom to travel instead of paying for all three of us to fly or train back and forth.

I try to be compassionate.  I don't know what it's like to be almost 70, no longer used to the "big city", with an achy knee and back.  But I just feel so angry and disappointed that we aren't worth putting in the effort.  I'm sad.

Just a vent I guess.[/quote]

Op, you are being pretty dismissive. You say "aches and pains" and mention her knee and back. She may have a lot of back pain, shooting down her legs, unable to sleep when it hurts, and a swollen painful knee if she has to do stairs or walk on concrete. Your "aches and pains" make it sound like a little twinge here and there, and no big deal, but if that is a reason for not visiting it may be a big deal for her.
Some back conditions are agonizing when you have to sit for a prolonged period of time. She may suffer for weeks of she has to sit in a car for hours.
And the "travel anxiety" had already been covered as potentially a big issue.

I understand you are upset, but being upset *with* your mom instead of the situation and blaming her for things that may very well be out of her control is not really fair.[/quote]

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