Reply to Regrets about marrying interracially?

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[quote=Anonymous]The key is understanding any unconscious beliefs you both have. My Mom Japanese, my Dad white American. He is very catholic and thought my Mom was Christian because she went to a Christian HS in Japan. But she is more culturally spiritual (puts a offering out  by a picture of Buddha, but not Buddhist) and is offended by my Dad wanting to hang a picture or statue of a dead guy (Jesus on the cross).

While they were dating, she was the sweet submissive Japanese woman. What he didn't realize is that in the Japanese culture, the wife is 100% in charge of home life. His job is to go make money, come home and shut up and do what she says. Not to mention he thinks she is kinda dumb since her English isn't great. (But she is much smarter than him!!)

So it took over 30 years of constant fighting for them to work out their issues.(And I was collateral damage)  And now they just put up with each other. But they'll never divorce.

OP-since you FI is from a culture that has such different views on woman, you guys should really talk about that. Will his expect to be 'in charge' in the marriage and you just agree with him. Will his views change once you become a Mom? How does he see raising a girl vs a boy?

I'd be most scared of marrying someone who, if we got a divorce, could take my kids to his country and have their courts give him full custody. Would he be willing to sign an agreement that in the case of separation or divorce, the kids would stay in the US? [/quote]

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