Reply to Thanksgiving 'dynamic' and how to prevent/deal with it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would love it if you would "work around" everything as you've described/PPs suggested, but do this one thing...

Ask her directly why she is sitting in your place.

Just to see what she could possibly say to justify that behavior.[/quote]
Does she even know it's OP's place?  We dont do this 'hostessing chair' thing.  At all.  You sit where you are comfortable.  I would probably accidentally use OP's place too.[/quote]

It is common knowledge that the head and "foot" of a table--seats at the short ends opposite from one another--are the host and hostess seats. Anyone who knows anything about hosting and etiquette would know that. It sounds like OP's MIL knows this full well, if she is a "coffee after dessert" type of old-school person.[/quote]
Let me rephrase.  It isn't that I am not aware of the host and hostess seat.  It is that I would never have this level of formality with my closest relatives so I would not think - oh, better not use that chair, it's for the hostess.  Especially with kids - I tend to sit so I or my husband can help them if needed.  If someone said, oh that's my chair, it would be different and of course I would not sit there.  However, the thought would not enter my mind unprompted.  I also would think that an adult would mention I was sitting in her seat if she found this important.  However, I do like coffee after dessert![/quote]

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