Reply to Thanksgiving 'dynamic' and how to prevent/deal with it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your MIL is probably having a hard time not being in her usual, respected, family head role. She's probably spent her life cooking, hostessing, takeing care of people. And now she is [b]shunted aside. [/b]Not your fault, OP, but it probably hurts her deeply. And she probably resents that her house was fine and homey for all those years, and now that you have a bigger, fancier one...you get to host. Again, not your fault, not yours to fix, but [b]do have some empathy[/b]. Look, when my brother and sister in law bought a big beautiful house all of the sudden it became "Oh, we'll host! We have room, and it will be so much more comfortable." We'd been doing holidays at my modest house for years and years and it was cozy and lovely and warm. Its fine to do holidays at different houses, to rotate and share around...but please never make it about [b]"we have more/bigger/nicer, so we'll host." It just makes people with less than you feel like crap.[/b][/quote]

How has OP not shown empathy?! She's trying to navigate tricky waters and save face/feelings. She seems to go out of her way to accommodate. She seems to have tons of empathy!

Being asked to be a guest instead of hostess for completely legit reasons (pregnancy and to save other family members significant travel time) does not = "shunting someone aside."

OP's hosting has *nothing to do* with having the bigger house, though clearly people seem to be more comfortable there.

Drama queen.[/quote]

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