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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hey guys, OP here. I'd be thrilled not to vacuum daily. But we had mice in the spring and dh and I agreed together (he's actually the neatnik in the house!) to vacuum the dinner crumbs. But it's definitely not just about the vacuuming.[b] I have told him before that he should do some of the "care" for the kids, not just playing with them, but he thinks their relationships are fine.[/b] But then is offended that they only come to me! Agh men! I think the most important thing is to force him to take on an evening or afternoon so that he can see that it's not just me "hanging out" with the kids - which seems to be how he views it.[/quote]

You: I want you to do more of the "care" for the kids, not just playing with them.
Him: I think my relationship with the kids is fine.
You: ??

How does the conversation continue? His response is non-responsive, but he may or may not know that. I think you need to be clear that you don't just mean "I want you to have a relationship with the kids," you mean "I want you to share more equally in the tasks involved with raising the kids, including pickup/dropoff and bedtime routines, both because I don't want to be responsible for all of those tasks myself, and also because I think it is important to a parent's relationship with their children that they interact during those mundane day-to-day activities." Have you said that to him? How does he respond?  [/quote]

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