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Reply to "married to someone with a perfect education pedigree who has never lived up to the potential"
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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure how to feel about your post OP. One the one hand I empathize. We recently went into debt for DH to obtain a professional degree (while still working full time) and he has yet to apply for a higher paying job even though that was the goal. But I sort of get it because he's comfortable right now, we have a lot on our plate family-wise, and we are waiting to find out if his current company will promote him soon. If in a decade, however, it turns out we took out loans and I took on a bigger role around the house (while working a full time job), but he makes no effort to advance his career, then I will feel sort of duped. For me, it's not necessarily about the money per se, but I would feel hurt that he wasn't working to further our family's goals. On the other hand, I have taken a more flexible, lower paying government job (I'm an attorney) so that I can be home in time to make dinner, take off work to look after our kids in case of snow days, etc. Basically, I do not think you can only look at the financial contributions each spouse makes, but rather their overall commitment to family goals. Maybe you and your spouse do not have the same goals and that is the issue? Have you asked whether he values things like free time and a lower stress job over luxuries like private school? I would never give up time with my spouse at home just to send our kids to private school, but that is not a goal for us. [/quote]
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