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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a big law attorney with a husband who makes less (and is able to stay in his enjoyable gig because I take care of finances). I saw the other thread about the big law dad who does poker/night out twice a week and the gym daily. Many of the responses slammed the husband, but allow me to share a different perspective.

Like the big law DH, I work every day. Yup. Every single day. 12-14 hours weekdays and 4-5 hours per weekend day. Why? Because I am trying to make equity partner. People simply do not realize that all partners are not created the same. Partners who lack a book of business have no more job security than associates, BUT we are much less marketable because our brand is inextricably linked to our firm once we accept an offer of partnership. [b]So, my position is precarious and will remain so until I have some real clients of my own. I have no real connections. Sure, I have many friends and contacts, but I am a non-WASP, non-Jew whose parents were lower middle class Schmoes.  I don't have that shared background that would lead the majority in my field to feel real loyalty to me. I distinguish myself through breadth and depth of knowledge and slavish devotion to my clients' needs.[/b]

This leads me to nights out. No one who goes from work to home is going to get far in big law unless they arrived with connections.  What my husband sees as "fun" drinks, poker nights, parties, and other events are really me ingratiating myself with those who will one day send me business.  From the outside looking in, many of these people are my "friends" and I have known them for years. I am having a grand time laughing and chatting with them, drink in hand, right? Wrong. I am pumping them for info and thinking of the bottomline at all times.

So, most of my week is spent working and drumming up work. Then I come home and it's more work. Help out with kids, help make household decisions, drive kids to day care, won't I coach a team. Bake some fucking cookies that some stay at home dingbats requested for a bake sale. I arrive home utterly spent and then I have to put on my mother/wife hat. I love my family, but it is beyond exhausting and DH often complains that I don't do enough.

And now we have arrived at the gym. My sanctuary. This is the only place in the world where I can drop the client-/family-pleasing grin, put on my headphones, and work out my frustrations in peace. I always hated the gym until I was married with kids and a job that was killing me and had nowhere else to turn. Most of my partners drink, drug, cheat, eat, smoke, and engage in other vices to cope. I am not going to let big law and the desire to give my kids a better life kill me. So, I go to the gym. Sometimes I cry on the treadmill. Sometimes I sprint as if I am trying to outrun my life. Sometimes I do squats until I can barely bend my legs. The hour at the gym is the only time I am truly happy.

So, as you can hopefully see, every aspect of my life from the long hours to the twice weekly "hang outs" to the gym has a purpose and is necessary. I bet the same is true for that DH. If the DW is reading this, my advice is to be supportive. He is killing himself for you and your kids. If you keep being greedy and asking for more, he will either drop from a stress-induced heart attack, divorce you, or quit his job. Any of those things means an end to your lifestyle and you can kiss the nice house, vacations, peace of mind you have in your low pay job, and kids' college funds goodbye.[/quote]

Okay you are coming at the from the wrong place.  What is the 12-14 hours a day of work that you are doing?  You are working on things for the clients of partners right? [b]What you need to do is go and get your own clients[/b][i].  How do you do that?  Well being Jewish or a WASP isn't necessarily going to help so everyone is to a degree in the same boat.  Are you going to ABA conferences?  Joining committees through local bar chapters?  Giving presentations at conferences?  That is how you drum up business is getting to know other lawyers in your field.  What area of law are you in?  Being a WASP or Jewish kid of a big time defense lawyer isn't really going to help your estate planning practice is it? It is the non-billable hour work that gets you the clients.  How do I know?  I'm the child of a firm's rainmaker.  [b]My mom gets the clients and then passes the work off to the associates.  The associates work so much they never have time to get their own clients.[/b][/i]  The people who make partner figure that out and put in the effort.  Clients don't just fall into your lap like drunk guys buying you drinks at bars.[/quote]

New poster here, to the spawn of a rainmaker, your "advice" on business development and your description of the partner/associate dynamic is rudimentary.  When I was on the verge of going from biglaw to in-house, every jr. partner and senior associate became my best friend - chats, lunch invites, drinks.  I never felt so much professional love.   Law is a service industry and is built on personal connections.  When firms are serious about non-equity partners bringing in business, they provide money for wining-and-dining.  Conferences and presentations may be sufficient to get your name out there, but to secure the business an attorney needs to develop a personal connection with a potential client, i.e., poker, golfing, drinks, dinner, etc.

As far as partners bringing in the business and the associates doing the work, that is the essence of the law firm model.

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