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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Although she makes it very clear that she loves me very much, I'm pretty sure my DW is not sexually attracted to me.  I believe she finds me attractive on an aesthetic level (I'm a good looking guy, look young for my age, in great shape, etc.) but after 10 yrs of marriage, I can't remember if she has ever given me that "I want you!" vibe.  She's certainly never said it and she doesn't show it.

We do have sex, and it's pretty good, occasionally great, but honestly, when we're doing it, I feel as if I could be anyone.  She'll be more enthusiastic when she's ovulating but the rest of the time it's pretty clear she could take it or leave it.  If I stopped asking for it, she wouldn't miss it.  In the past when I've given up on sex and stopped asking for it she would very occasionally suggest it when I think she began to worry that she might lose me.

I'm interested to hear from spouses who don't find their DW or DH sexually attractive.  Not because you're angry and bitter or in an abusive relationship, but because somehow they just don't do it for you.

And please explain why.  Have you always felt this way or is it something that developed over time? Is it boredom? Is it because they let themselves go? Is it stress from work, parenthood, etc.? Are you still pining for an ex? Something else?

[/quote]

OP, I'm another one that could be your DW.  Here's my "why" on the whole thing.  Like another poster said, we get along great outside the bedroom - we are like best friends.  However, we both have gotten pretty comfortable with each other and very predictable.  For us (hopefully not for you two yet), it's been so long that we're set in our ways that I don't think we could get out of it at this point.  But if this is recently new for you two maybe there's still hope.

For us - the sex is perfunctory.  we each knows what the other likes, doesn't like.  We go through the motions, do the same things in the same order and we're done.  we don't make an effort to put our best out there for each other - we're in our ratty underwear, sweats, not shaved (face for him, legs for me) etc. and be like, you want to have sex tonight? okay.  and then we do it.

I'm not sure if he feels the same way towards me as I feel towards him, but after years of this, I'm no longer sexually attracted to him and could honestly never have sex with him again and be moderately happy in life (with him as my life partner).  Like I said, I love him with all my heart and we have a great time together - but sexually attractive?  nope.  It's become more of an obligation or "check the box" kind of thing rather than really wanting it. [/quote]

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