Reply to If you aren't sexually attracted to your spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, let me take a step back. This sounds like you want absolute perfection in your relationship and anything else is going to elicit angst from you.

Your wife loves you. She has sex with you (doesn't withhold). You apparently have a good relationship.

I hope you are mature enough to realize how good you have it. COULD you possibly have a similar good/great relationship with another woman and have her be super-passionate about sex for the rest of your lives? Possibly a .000001% chance, but I'd say even that is doubtful.

It might be helpful for you to talk to a therapist, because you seem to be creating a problem where there is none. It's unreasonable to expect someone in a 10-year+ marriage to have teenager hot-and-heavy sex every time. You could talk to the therapist about communicating positively to your wife about your needs so you can spice things up (e.g., exploring some of her and your kinks, role playing, etc). But otherwise, this is like the princessy thread yesterday where the GF wanted her boyfriend to WANT to dote on her. Stop with the magical thinking, enjoy the upsides of your relationship, and work on positive ways to make things realistically better. [/quote]

OP here again.  I am in therapy and we will be starting MC soon (she has resisted it).  I'd add that you are making several assumptions, to include the idea that I haven't tried any of the things you suggest.  [/quote]

PP here. Well, then please talk to your therapist about communication. A great example is that you mentioned nothing about MC or your therapy (and what you are getting help with) in your OP, and that's extremely relevant to the situation you're asking about. It's not helpful to have to play guessing games when you leave out pertinent information. [/quote]

Talk to my therapist about communication.  Wow, why didn't I think of that?

Please note that in my OP I didn't ask for suggestions or help with my situation.  I asked to hear about the other side of the coin from those who don't feel sexually attracted to their spouses.  So far I've gotten quite a bit of really good insight from those who shared their situation.  For those who shared, thank you, I really appreciate your input.

Not so much for those who want to play amateur therapist.

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