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[quote=Anonymous]OP, your mom may be the one with the issue here and she's afraid to say so to you because you make it so very clear that to you, it is simply not Christmas unless you and your family are under her roof.

She may feel overwhelmed by having two entire families in her house at the same time--yes, even for a mere 36 hours. And those feelings would be totally understandable for her to have -- but you don't seem willing to try to understand that. I don't get a sense that you are at all able to try to be objective long enough to see that you are putting a lot of pressure on your mom when you make so clear that it is only Christmas if it is at HER house and you are all together. She knows that she will be branded as having "ruined Christmas" not just for you but for your kids if she comes out and says, "I'd really like a year off hosting all of you at once." Please try to ramp back your own expectations and assumptions that Christmas must be only one way, one day, one place.

Any chance that your mom's health is not what it was? That despite help from the adults, she's just getting to feel it's too much? That the preparation for all of you coming is something of which she's tiring? She has a right to feel that way, even if she's always said it's great and she doesn't mind the preparation. Check in with her -- ask, and be clear you're open to an answer you don't like.  Dont' just assume that she's dandy with it all just because she always [i]says[/i] she is. Parents can get into a routine of trying to please their kids and fulfill their kids' expectations, especially about holidays.
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