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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Sister has kids also. FWIW, she has not said one word of this to me. It's all come thru my mom, and again, not in plain words.

And I'm not playing dumb now that my mom has inferred all of this. Before I really didn't know. My sister and I are not super close. But my kids and her kids adore each other - I think they all behave fine.[/quote]

OP, if your mom thought your sister was wrong, she would have told your sister that it was up to her whether to come or not but she was going to invite everyone, and wouldn't have brought this issue to you. She brought it to you because she agrees with your sister, but couched it in terms of your sister's feelings because she's afraid of your reaction if she says it to you directly. In order to have people speak to you directly, you need to be someone who can be spoken to directly. You need to be someone who will hear people out, respect their right to have their own feelings, do an honest self-assessment of the validity of their opinions, and be open to finding a resolution. Given that both your mom and your sister seemingly are afraid to talk to you directly, and given how hostile you've been to people here who don't agree with you, I suspect you're not the kind of person who can be spoken to directly. I'd try to take this episode as an opportunity to do some serious self-reflection.[/quote]

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