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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is not dead yet, but she is in her 90s and not in great health.  She was one of three surviving sisters.  I never thought about how her funeral would be until last week, and now it's really bothering me and maybe you guys can help me?

One of my mom's sisters died last week, and at the reception, we all told some great stories, because my aunt was really funny and fun. Then deceased's daughter (my cousin, who I know well and who is nonstop negative) stood up and told everyone she was glad they had nice stories about her mother, because she had none.  She proceeded to excoriate my dead aunt until the emcee (mc?)  managed to shut her down.

Then my other cousin, from the third sister's line, who I haven't seen in 20+ years, stood up and piled on that it wasn't only the deceased, but other people in the family that were selfish or whatever.  It was SO nasty and she had to be shut down too.

I'm being a little vague to keep anonymous, but I want to be clear that the things they were actually complaining about are not serious things like child abuse.  
---The first cousin was blaming her mother for her bad relationships with other relatives, which, knowing my cousin, were probably actually caused by my cousin and her attitude.  
---The second cousin was saying "I'm doing more than my fair share than other members of the family" in scathing verbiage--but, this had nothing to do with the deceased at all!

Ok both these cousins are clearly walking around with a lot of hate (and self-hate) etc.  The first one decided to use the captive audience as a platform to spit venom and stomp on the dead, and the second one got caught up in the "well, as long as we're bitching, I'll go next" mentality.  No boundaries and concept of appropriateness of the occasion.

As I watched this all come about, my aunt's funeral ruined, I started thinking about how my sibs and I will have to deal with our mom's funeral.  We are in agreement that we don't want these two nut jobs to hijack what should be a celebration of life and ruin it.  But [b]I don't see how to keep these two under control.  I don't think we can keep them away, can we?  [/b]But maybe there is a better solution, and I'd like to know if anyone has any ideas.  I owe it to my mom, now that I've seen the handwriting on the wall, to figure out how to minimize the chances that anything like this would happen. Thanks in advance.[/quote]

Yes, of course you can. Tell everyone that due to their past behavior, [xxxx] are NOT INVITED to your mom's ceremony. If they show up, escort them out, saying 'I'm sorry, we cannot accommodate you.' STICK TO IT.[/quote]

+1 I even would go as far as looking into paying for a bouncer, to keep them out.[/quote]

+3.

They disrespected their own mother/aunt. Why would they respect your mom? Bouncer + no open mic.[/quote]

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